Sweat equity. Remember when we used to believe that narrative? Or perhaps you still do? There’s really nothing quite like the feeling of starting, building and scaling your own company. The highs, the lows, more lows, and intermittent sparks of joy.

And through it all is a dogged commitment to your vision. We know it takes our all. Sweat equity is more than jargon. It’s literal sweat, tears, late nights and weekends. Sleep, self-care and relationships are sacrificed because this thing we’re building is all that matters.

I’ve been on this exciting and terrifying journey for 15 years. I’ve felt all the feelings and almost drowned in the pools of sweat I accidentally created along the way.

One of the many lessons I’ve learned is to pay more attention to my ambitions and expectations. This sweat equity narrative, one of the most popular mythologies among entrepreneurs, is a great example of what can happen when we’re not paying attention to the stories we tell ourselves.

I call it the burnout loop. Here’s how it works. First up, we subconsciously latch onto what seems like a credible narrative or myth. Sweat equity isn’t just a badge of pride, it’s a promise of future success. We buy into the idea that our self-sacrifice will eventually pay off.

That thinking leads to the next stage where self-care is sacrificed because we must keep going. Rest is for the weak.

Gary Vaynerchuck, a tireless entrepreneur and visionary thought leader on all things business, is one of the most famous proponents of this myth.

“Put in the work, start deploying patience, start deploying long-term thinking, start eating dirt… I promise you, things will work out!”

I’ve watched him extol different versions of this over the years. Work hard! Sacrifice sleep! If you’re not prepared to go hard, go home! Now, to be fair, he is very successful in business. But at what cost?

Well, let me tell you. The by-product of relentless work and no rest is burnout, anxiety, stress and depression. It’s a vicious loop that’s fed by your inner critic, which in turn is reinforced by whatever version of the sweat equity story you’ve been telling yourself: If I don’t keep going, this business will fall over. Nobody can do this job like me. If I rest, I’ll lose momentum. 

It’s the nasty shadow side of a destructive story that ironically keeps many entrepreneurs and business leaders from realising their full potential. I’ve been there, done that and got the sweaty t-shirt – that is, recovered from panic attacks and clinical depression.

What’s to be done?

 If you’re stuck in this burnout loop, or afraid you’re heading in that direction, here’s my tip on the way forward.

Step one, get back to basics.

The three pillars of self-care are more important than most business leaders realise. Eat well, sleep well, and exercise well. They’re called pillars for a reason – they hold you up. They’re the key to living a sustainable and healthy lifestyle.

But there’s a twist: we’ve been missing one more essential pillar – self-talk.

This sweat equity narrative is a great example of destructive self-talk that can hold us back and wreck our best attempts to maintain a healthy lifestyle.

I recently published my second book on storytelling, The Story Code: Unlock resilience and influence by rewriting the stories you tell yourself. It’s part memoir and part how-to. A way of transforming your inner talk track so you can escape the burnout loop and bring your big ideas to life.

Here’s a tool I teach leaders to begin the journey of learning how to flip the script on these negative stories you tell yourself.

I call it the Mirror Moment, and here’s how it works.

The first stage is called catch. Recall one of the awful lines you’re served by your inner critic.

It could be one of the classics: I don’t deserve success. I’m not a real leader. Other people are more successful than me. I’m not qualified. Catch this line, as it were. Drag it out of the subconscious and think about how destructive it really is.

Up next, flip. That is, flip the script. Ask yourself, what’s the positive opposite of this idea? If you’re wrestling with feeling qualified, that new line could be: I’m MORE than qualified.

The final stage is hold. You’re going to hold onto this new narrative not by force of will, but with evidence of your own success. Think about real examples and stories of success in your own life where you know, in your heart of hearts, you demonstrated why you have what it takes.

Neuroscience teaches us we’re wired to look for danger. One of the unfortunate consequences of that biological writing is that we can dwell on our failures more than our wins.

Intentionally holding onto real evidence of success – those wins large and small throughout your career – is the key to escaping the burnout loop over time.

Now, before you write this off as bumper sticker motivation, one of the key lessons I learned from the field of narrative psychology is that you are the expert on your own story. These positive stories are your own, and they’re extraordinarily powerful.

So my encouragement is to lean more consciously into your own successes. Sweat equity and other myths are just that – stories that can be rewritten to serve you in healthy, inspiring ways.

These are crazy, confusing and stressful times. But that doesn’t mean you have to get sucked into the burnout loop. Regain control of your story and you’ll discover a better narrative that propels you onwards.

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