Five tips to deal with a toxic co-worker
Unfortunately, far too many of us have been there… working with a toxic co-worker who seems to have made it their job to make your work life a living hell. Whether it’s via barbed or inappropriate comments, passive-aggressive behaviour, undermining you in front of the boss or stealing your idea and calling it their own, it really can take all the joy out of work and seriously affect your productivity, writes Franca Sala Tenna, workplace behaviour legislation and compliance expert, founder of EEo Specialists.
There’s no doubt about it, navigating workplace dynamics can be challenging, especially when you’re dealing with a toxic colleague.
And unfortunately, it’s all too common.
Addressing these issues with empathy and professionalism is crucial to maintaining a positive workplace culture.
Here are five practical tips for managing a toxic co-worker effectively
Set boundaries
Clearly communicate your limits about acceptable behaviour. For example, if a co-worker often interrupts you during meetings, calmly express your need to finish talking speak before the other person speaks.
Or if someone always dismisses your opinion in meetings, approach them privately to explain to them how you feel it undermines you and your role.
Practice empathy
While it can be difficult, try to understand the underlying reasons for your co-worker’s toxic behaviour.
Empathy doesn’t mean tolerating unacceptable actions, but rather acknowledging that personal issues may be contributing to their behaviour.
You can seek to understand the person by being curious about what’s causing it, stating the behaviour you’ve experienced from that reaction and asking the person what that was about? Then listen without judgement if they decided to share that with you.
Focus on facts
When addressing issues with a toxic co-worker, identify the behaviour factually and without adding in your judgements or opinions. For example, “yesterday in the staff meeting while I was talking, you started talking before I had finished.” Compared to, “yesterday in the staff meeting you interrupted me and that was rude.”
Try not to use combative language as it rarely helps and can often inflame the situation to make it worse.
Document incidents
It’s important to document specific incidents, including dates, times, and the nature of the interactions.
When documenting think, what, where, when, who in relation to your notes.
Keeping records of these occurrences can be crucial if you need to escalate the issue to HR or management.
Seek support
Develop a support network within your workplace; allies can offer advice, validate your experiences, and provide emotional support. Buto be careful to avoid gossip which can add to a toxic workplace.
Be aware of and consider free counselling via your Employee Assistance Program. Additionally, don’t hesitate to involve management or HR if the toxic behaviour is ongoing and affects your wellbeing or productivity.
Dealing with a toxic co-worker requires a balanced approach of assertiveness, empathy, and effective communication.
By setting clear boundaries, understanding the reasons, documenting incidents, and seeking support, you can help mitigate the negative impact on you and your workplace and contribute to a healthier environment for everyone.
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Franca Sala Tenna is Founder, Director, Principal Facilitator, Coach, Speaker, Lawyer of EEO Specialists. She has spent 14 years in the unlawful workplace behaviour space; preventing behaviours through in-person training to more than 25,000 people, using her legal skills to conduct investigations and applying her coaching skills with one-on-one training.
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